Chapter 8 – Bill

Chapter 8

I wake up and feel Eric’s cool body wrapped around me. I feel like I am in heaven. This is the only time, besides the other night and that time in Dallas, I have woken in a lovers arms. Plus when I was in in Dallas and that lover was my annoying Ex Bill. Yuck.  What in the world, did I see in that huge vampire Man baby. Well huge would not be right. There was not a huge part on Bill. Although he could win an Olympic gold metal for whining, complaining and blaming others for his actions, he definitely excels at that.

I snuggle closer to my vampire, realizing he must have went into his daytime rest wrapped around me. Our legs are intertwined and his arms are wrapped around my back pulling me towards him, my head laid on his chest. I just lay here for a few moments luxuriating in the feel of his embrace. I love the feel and smell of this man, this vampire. I feel so complete and safe in his arms, like nothing could ever go wrong, as long as we are together. Then I notice that mister happy is at full attention. I did not think vamp could get hard, during their daytime rest! Why am I not surprised. This is Eric after all! I wonder what has gotten Eric all worked up? He must be having some really good dreams. Do they even dream in their rest. Hmm. I will have to ask him about that later. I wonder if he dreams of me, like I dream of him?

Feeling that my bladder is full, I decide to stop my lollygagging and get up. I push and pull and to work myself out of his arms. I creep out of the bedroom to the bathroom and attend to my human needs. This bathroom is no where near as big and extravagant as the one at his hotel suite. Like he told me last night, it must be due to the expense of having the entire suite, lined in iron and silver. Plus with his entire house being underground and thus protected from the sun, he can use the rest of house, anytime he wakes up early. Yes, this is just his cubby hole to him. It is just a really nice one.

Now that my bladder is empty, and I am freshly showered, with my teeth brushed, I decide to walk around and check out his space. The room is really small, but it is lined with book shelves on one wall. I look through his books. Most of the books look like first editions and in different languages, on varying subjects. The books on the bottom three shelf look like classics. The next shelf is full of encyclopedias. Above the that is books on mythology and Nordic gods. Above that is business and stock trading books.

In between the middle of each shelf there is an empty space with different nick naks, do dads and thing a n bobs. On one shelf there is what appears to be a hand carved version of a Viking ship. It is stained and painted, with an elaborate dragon on the front of the hull. On a few other shelves are small hand carved statues of Nordic Gods. You can see the etching on all of the pieces, from the use of hand tools, that were used to carve them. They are beautiful and detailed. You can tell just by looking at them that someone took hours of work to create them. I wonder if Eric made this with his own two hands. I look over to my sleeping vampire and wonder what other hidden talents he has.

I pick a book on Nordic Gods and climb back into bed with my vampire. I hear my Cell phone start to ring. I run around the room, like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to find my purse. I find it sitting in a large arm chair in a corner. Eric must have brought it in here sometime last night. I quickly flip it open.

“Hello?” I say in a huff, trying to regain my breath, after running all like a crazy person.

“Hooker, wheres you at? I am ats your house and yous pretty’s ass ain’ts here.” Laf says in his normal banter.

“Oh, I spent the night with Eric. We are heading out of town tonight, to New Orleans.”

“Yous with that hot, tall and Dead is you! Yous goes on with your bads self!”

“Yes, I am.” I giggle.

“Wooh ee girl, Lets me tells you, you had me all different kinds of worried. I thought that Mister Micro cock himself, AKA Bill, kidnapped your happy ass!”

I giggle again. It is hard not to giggle when talking to Laf. Micro Dick indeed.

“No Laf, I am fine. Although, Bill is the reason why I have to go out of town tonight. He told the higher up Vamps that Eric stole me. So we are going to a trial, down in New Orleans. Plus Harold and I are planning to use it as a venue to show off our new computer program.”

“Shits girls! Is anythings evers borings with you?.. That’s the Ex boyfriend annihilator programs rights?”

“Yes, it is. Plus I have developed some free gifts and accessories to go with it.”

“Mmms, got to loves somes accessories! I can’t wait to see thems.”

“Hooker, can I comes with? I would loves to see ‘Beels’ face when you show everyones the programs. Ands I needens to get the Hells out of dodges for a while. Jesus is cold hard trippen rights nows. Plus I am nots letn’s MY baby’s girl goes in to the lions dens without me.”

“I wouldn’t let Eric hear you say that, he would most likely go off on a tangent about me being his!” I laugh.

“Bitch please. You knows you are his! Mmph. So don’t you go arounds try’ns to deny that shit. Yous is ones hard headed, ass bitch, buts stills yous knowns it trues. For reals.

“Your right. I am his. I am just do not care for the term. It makes me sound like I am his couch or something.”

“Honey child, yous needs to gets the hells over that shit! You is his woman, man the hell up, and grows some balls!”

“I am a woman, for Christ sake. I don’t have any balls.”

“Bitch please, yous got some eye balls don’ts ya?”

“Humph.” No arguing there. I do have eye balls. I roll my eyes even though he can’t see it. Huffing, to put an end to that part of the conversation.

The phone is silent for a moment while Laf switches his metal gears.

“Mmmm. Eric is one fine ass lookn muther Fucker, that’s for sure!.. So you gonna gives a sistar any details about riding his Viking sword? Inquirings minds want to knows!”

“What? That is private Laf. I am not the kind of girl to kiss and tell. You know that.”

“Yes, I knows. You rob a sistar, of the chance to lives through your hot, skinny, white ass. You is a scandalous, selfish bitch, Stackhouse! You bed that fines, ass piece of man meat and won’t even tells me how large and in charge his equipment is? Girls, you not right.” Laf laughs.

I giggle.

“So’s cans I comes with you? I think I might bes able to finds a nice spell for Mister Polo shirt extraordinaire. How can any man think dressens likes that looks good, is beyonds me…. Anywho’s, what does you think about him gettens struck by lightening every times, he says ‘Sookah’, in that annoying voice of his. Or him nots beens able to get an erection for a month, every time he comes within one hundred feets of yous? Oooah maybe, I can make his fangs quit working for 6 months every times he has sexual thoughts abouts you! Afters all, his dumb ass claims, to bes mains streaming, its not like his retarded ass needs them anyways.”

“Lighting, erectile dysfunction or Fang dysfunction? OH MYGOD Laf! I think I love you! I don’t know how you came up with that. But I seriously love you!” I am giddy at the prospect of it! God I love Laf, he is my sister/brother from another mother.

“You knows it Bitch! I ams all that and a bag of chips and a heaping bowl of grits! I knows you would be all kinds of thankfuls, for fuckins Bills shit the Hells up. Maybe you can help a brother out, with findn his own fine ass pieces of man meats, when wes are down in New Orleans?”

“Well pack your bags, you are coming with! We will have so much fun! We are going to do some shopping when we are done with this vamp business. We are giving Harold a make over! You can help! Plus I can always use more backup. Maybe you can come up a protection spell, too? One that will work on all of us. Prevent anyone from biting, shooting, stabbing, touching or staking any of us? That would be so helpful!”

“Well I thinks I saws a spells, for a force field. I will looks into its nows and pack my bags.”

“Thanks! Could you meet us at the airport at 8:00? Oh and I hope you have some really nice suites, because you will have to dress way up for this meeting

“Girl’s, have you forgottens whos you talkens too? Dressed up is my middle name bitch!”

“K, loves you Laf, see you at the airport. I feel so much better about this trip, with you coming with us! We will have a tons of fun!”

“Of course cus you goings with mes! Later, Hooker. Sees ya soon.” Laf hangs up.

I giggle to my self! I am so glad that Laf is coming with us. This trip is starting to look up.

I remember that I need to touch base with Harold about the accessory’s for the game and a few side projects he is working with me on. I pick up my phone and place a quick call to him.


“Hey Harold! How are you doing today?”

“Oh, hey Sookie! I am good. Just packing up the last of the stuff, we need for the trip. I got in 10 cases of games today. I drop five cases at Fangtasia. I am bringing the other 5 cases with us and I put in another order for 15 more cases. This game seems to be selling like hot cakes.”

“I am so excited! I just knew it would do well! Did you get the prototype accessories in? Both the human and Vamp models?”

“Yes, the just got in. I have 3 full case of the human models. But I only have the prototype for the Vamp model. They are really expensive to make. So I will order those, as the orders come in. It will be about a 3 week turn around time, from placing the order, to receiving it, testing and then customer order fulfillment.”

“That makes sense. We don’t want to get stuck with a huge inventory of them if the Vamps don’t like em. How much are we selling the vamp model for?”

“Due to production costs, materials and shipping, we are selling each one for $6,000 dollars. They cost about $2,800 to make, plus about $400 in shipping it out to us and $400 to deliver to the customer, plus $300 to test it to make sure it is working properly. We don’t want the vamps to get a defective product.”

“True, true. Wow! I had no idea they cost that much. But if the vamps like it, they might tear through them, like a chocoholic in a chocolate factory. So it could be a big money maker.”

“Indeed. We can only hope. Currently, there is not another product like it on the market for Vampires. So I think it will excel just like the game.”

“So did you contact those singers, I asked you about the other day? Did they make a video of them singing and email it to you?”

“Yes, I got in contact with them. They were so enthused about the project, that they already shot the video and I received it yesterday. I can’t wait to see Bills face when he sees and hears it! It will be priceless.”

“Excellent! Thanks so much! I have no idea how you found these people for me, especially on such short notice.”

“Think nothing of it. It will all be worth it when Bill hears it. I am sure that all the Vamps, laughing there asses off at him, will just be icing on the cake!”

“I know right! Anyway thanks! I don’t know what I would do without you! Sorry to bother you again, but did you get around to translating that word document and printing it out?”

“Its no bother, at all. It was too much fun! I had my whole office staff working on it today. They just loved the idea and thought it was  hilarious. They made me promise to show them the video of it being given to him.” Harold laughs out.

I giggle an evil villain giggle.

“If this doesn’t work, I don’t think anything will!”

“I hear that! Well I need to finish packing. I will meet you at the airport at 8:00. Bye Sookie.”

“See ya there. Bye now.” I hang up. Wow Harold is such an amazing friend. I could not have done all this with out him. I really hope Sarah will go out with him. He so deserves to have someone special to love in his life and maybe a vacation!

I put my phone on the night table and strip out of my dress and lay it on a near by chair. Then I climb under the blankets and I move Eric’s arms back around me, so I can snuggle up to him while I read. This is going to be a great trip. I just have a really good feeling about it. Before I know what has happened, I am out like a light.

Hello my readers! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Can you guess what is coming up next?

Clues for up coming chapters:

Blow up dolls

Ballistic gel

Hand grenades

Smoke machines

Nuclear detonations (simulated)


Alarm clocks

Children’s entertainment shows.


Animal planet

Languages (many)

Beer hats

Rocket launchers

Punishment (Stay tuned to find out who!)

Anyone have any guesses? Thanks for reading!

Chapter 9 >>>


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