“We appreciate your assistance Rasal.” Eric states with a firm nod. Rasal nods in return.
We follow quickly behind Rasal, back to Queen. We walk into a large dinning room and everyone is seated at a long, formal dinning room table, chatting.
“Your Majesty, Bills punishment is being implemented. You can watch it on the live feed channel on the TV, if you so wish it.” Rasal bows to the Queen then to us. She motions for him to leave.
“Excellent. Let us see how our dear Mister Compton is fairing.” She turns on the large screen TV on the wall and turns it to the live feed channel.
“SOOKAH! AHHHHHHHHHH! Let me out of here! Oh the singing! The awful Singing! Make it stop!” In the back round Dora is trying to get to the tallest mountain and is asking Map for directions.
The Queen laughs out loud in glee, at hearing Bill scream for mercy.
“That music and voice is certainly unbearable. It is no wonder there are such problems with today’s youth. They are driven insane from infancy listening to this.”
The other Kings and Queens in the room, nod in agreement.
“Please join us.” The Queen says as she shuts off the TV, then motions to our group, to join her. Eric takes a seat to the left of the Queen. I sit beside Eric and beside me sits Pam, then Laf, then Harold. Alcide and Tray take up guard behind us. On the right of the Queen, sits the Magister.
“Sookie, let me introduce you to the other Kings and Queens in attendance. Across from you is King Stan Davis from Texas, then King Bart of Tennessee, Queen Rose of New Jersey, King Peter of Arkansas and King Felipe of Nevada.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you all.” I say with a nod to each King and Queen.
In front of each vampire is a gold goblet, which I am assuming is full of Blood. Waiters comes out with plates piled high with food for the humans and places them before us. Then another waiter steps forward to fill our wine glasses.
We eat, drink and chat about current affairs. Then after a while King Stan addresses me.
“Ms. Stackhouse. I have grown curious of your plans to get back at your bother. Care to enlighten us?”
“Well, I was planning to work on my plan for him tomorrow during the day, however if you are interested in hearing about it, I do not mind planning it out now.”
“I would love to observe your planning process. It should be intriguing to watch.” The vampires around the room nod in agreement.
“Ok.” I take a deep breath.
“Alcide. Can you represent your pack?”
“Yes, although for some decisions I will have to confer with the pack master. What did you have in mind?”
“I have a few ideas. But let me start with Tray. Tray if I was to trade you 5 hours of Telepathic services would you help me with my brothers truck? Oh and when I say Telepath services there are a few rules that go with my services.” Time to set up precedent for my Telepathic services.
“What are your rules and what did you want to do to your brother’s truck?”
“Well the rules for my telepathic rules are:
1). My telepath services are for my telepathy and my telepathy only. It does not include blood or sexual relations of any kind.
2). Unless it is a dire emergency, you will give me at least 3 days notice, so I can get my personal affairs in order before leaving to assist you.
3). I will be guarded from harm, before, during and after the use of my services, until I am returned safely to my home and the guards must be approved by Eric.
4). My current car is a hunk of unreliable junk. So if you need me to read away from the town of Bon Tomps, transportation to and fro will need to be provided.
5). If I need to stay over night away from my home, a hotel room will be provided. It must be some where safe, that Eric approves of. As well as being provide with 3 meals a day, the entire time I am away from home.
6). How long I can read in one day, depends on the amount of humans around. Reading individuals, one at a time, is less stressful and I could keep it up for a few good hours, as long as I get breaks every so often. For example interviewing new hires or reviewing you employees one at a time. However if I am in a public place, all the minds puts a lot of pressure on my shields and can cause them to fail. So if I need to attend a party or a pack meeting, I might only be able to stay for two or three hours before retiring for the night.” Tray and Alcide nod.
7). Anyone I find who is found guilty is handed over to the proper authorities.”
“Proper Authorities?” Alcide and Tray say in unison. The vamps look on in rabid attention, as if there is going to be a test afterwards.
“Yes, proper Authorities for example if the wrong doer is a human you call the human cops. Even if you have to glamour them into admitting their crimes or frame them for a different crime and plant evidence. If the wrong doer is a Were, you hand him over to the local pack master. If the wrong doer is a vampire, you will hand them over to their local Sheriff or Royal. I will not take part in vigilantism. Whoever has done wrong should have to answer to their legal system. I will not take part in murders. Nor do I want to see any violent punishments carried out. If violent punishments are warranted, then I am to be allowed to leave, before it is carried out. I do not care to witness it.”
Alcide and Tray think it over and nod in agreement. Eric looks impressed with my rules. The other Kings and Queens are listening closely, as if taking notes on what my telepathic services would entail.
8). My telepathy can not be used for anything illegal. I will not go with you to Vegas or any gambling establishment. I will not use my telepathy to help you take over an area or hurt anyone for personal gain. I will only use my gift to prevent harm to others and to find wrong doers.
9). If you need more telepathic services in the future, your request will go through Eric. As my bonded he is my agent. He will negotiate the price and may add his own rules in addition, to my rules. He may deny any request if it is too dangerous. I trust his judgment. These are just my rules, he might have some of his own to add. I say looking over at him.
“I will decide addition rules on a case by case basis.” Eric speaks out to the room, after giving me a affirming nod.
Everyone nods and seems to be thinking over what I said.
“Now as far as what I would like to do to Jason’s truck. His truck is his baby. He doesn’t care about a lot of things, but his truck is definitely one of them. So I want to put a pink car skin on his truck. Car skins are suppose to be easy to remove and just peel off. So it should not cause any damage to his truck. But it would take him a whole day to remove it! I also want to hook up a horn that will yell out “I want my Mommy” every time he honks the horn or steps on the brakes. Do you think you would be able to do this?”
“That should not be a problem. But Sookie are you sure. You don’t mess with a man’s truck.”
“I know. But I think he deserves it, this is the sixth time he had done something like this to me. I have tried talking to him about it and explaining to him this is unacceptable behavior. I have also tried hitting him back. He still shows up acting like this. Not to mention, that he is constantly stealing my food and belongings, claiming to be borrowing them and then never returns them. Even thought he makes 3 times more money than I do. So I believe it is time for a more radical approach.”
“I will start on it as soon as we return to town. I should be able to complete it over night.”
“Excellent. Thank you Tray. Just call me when you need me to read someone. Just remember my rules.”
Tray nods in agreement.
“Alcide. Next I will need your help.”
Alcide nods and motions for me to continue.
“I will trade 5 hours of telepathy reading to your pack, for each night my plan is carried out to the letter, without any permanent injury to my brother. For a total of 5 nights. But the rules for my Telepath apply to your pack as well.”
“Ok, what were you wanting to do to him?”
“See my brother is a bit of man whore and a bit homophobic. Since he thinks it is perfectly acceptable to show up, slap me, ruining my night, I want to return the favor. So I want two of your pack members, different ones each time, to follow him when he gets off work for the night, to his house and then to where ever he decides to go out to pick up girls. Almost every night he goes out trolling for women to take home.”
“I think I am afraid to ask where you are going with this” Alcide laughs.
“Then right when he is about to leave with a girl, I want one of your Weres to walk up to him and slap him clear across the face. Not so hard to permanently hurt him, but enough to get his attention. I want them to cause an embarrassing scene, that is completely untrue and humilate my brother. You can have the Were’s accuse him of having an affair with their wife or for getting them pregnant. They could also accuse him of cheating on them or have them act like they are his gay jealous lover and get handsie with him. Then when the woman he is with, leaves him high and dry, I want your Weres to apologize to him and say “Oh I thought you were someone else”, then high tail it out of there. I want this to happen a total of 5 times.”
Everyone at the table starts to laugh.
“That should be doable. Is that all?”
“No, I also have a few more ideas for him. That was just phase one and two. Now on to phase three: Operation Smorgasbord board. Alcide can you build two hidden speaker boxes into Jason’s bedroom when he is not at home and hide some outside in the trees in the yard?”
Sookies phone start to ring before Alcide can answer. She looks down at her phone.
“Speak of the devil.” All the sups in the room are listening in.
“Jason, what do you want now?”
“Hey Sookie. Is that any way to talk to your only brother?”
“Damn Sook, I said I was sorry about before.”
“What do you want Jason, I am busy.”
“Well, I just stopped at a gas station in Monroe, on my way back and you will never guess who I ran in to?”
“Who?” I say getting annoyed and impatient at the interruption, with one of his legendary, long drawn out stories.
“You remember Jimmy from my football squad in high school. His happy ass is getting married the day after tomorrow, to some hot chick he met. He says she has a killer rack. Anyway one of his groomsmen caught the flu. So he asked me to stand in for him.”
“Killer rack. I so did not need to hear that Jason… I am happy for Jimmy. But what does this have to do with me?”
“Well you remember my tux right? The one I wore it to a wedding about 8 months ago? When I was there, these three of bridesmaids got a bit frisky with me, after the wedding. They couldn’t wait to get them a piece of some good old Jason loven. So they tore up my coat, shirt and pants. The three of them ripped that sucker clear up. I had to drive home in my boxers. Damn that was an awesome wedding. Wedding always make the chicks extra horny and have tons of free food. So anyway, I need you to come on home right away and get started fixing my tux, so it will be ready in time for the wedding. I can’t be missing that shit!”
“Let me get this straight.” I say, after taking a cleansing breath and rubbing my temples. I get up and start to pace back and forth.
“You want me to cancel my plans for the night, drive over 3 hours back home, in the middle of the night, just to fix your tux! Your tux that was torn up, thanks to your sexapades, over 8 months ago. A tux, that was so unimportant to you, that you plain forgot to ask me to fix it for you? Till right now, the night before a wedding… All this, just so you can score with some whores at a wedding.”
“Don’t forget the free food. See! I knew you would understand. Plus I took your TV. I mean you never watch it anyway, with you reading all the damn time. Its a waste. Besides my TV went out and I wanted to catch the game.”
“You…. You took my TV!” I heard Eric growling at my brother, with fire burning in his eyes, while I was yelling at Jason.
“Yeah, its not like you use it or anything. You only watch it like, what? Once a week or something? It is a waste, sitting in Grans old house and not getting used. And that’s want family does. Borrow stuff.”
“Fuck you Jason. Hire a damn seamstress to fix your own fucking tux! Serves you ass right, if you can’t find anyone to fix it and you don’t get to go!.. Asshole!… I didn’t know you were cataloging my TV usage. Thank you for letting me in on the new perimeters for our brother/sister relationship. I will be returning the favor.” I hear Jason ask out loud, what cataloging and perimeters where, as I hung up the phone. I start to humble and swear to myself under my breath as I continue to pace back and forth. I stare blankly at the ceiling, as if the answer to all my problems, was suddenly going to just drop down out of no where.
“I knew your brother was addled brained, but I had no idea that he was quite that defective. To bad, he does look scrumptious.”
“Don’t tell me you are falling for his charms too, Pam! He is an idiot! I can’t believe I am related to him. I wonder sometimes if our mother dropped him on his head as a small child.”
“A brain injury would account for his lack of common sense and social skills.” Replies King Peter.
“Is this the way normal human relationships between sibling transpire?” Asks King Stan to the other vampire Kings and Queens in the room.
“No, I believe that request was well out of normal protocol for human brother/sister relationships of this time period.” Replies Queen Rose.
The other Kings and Queens nod in agreement.
“Lover, I will have your locks changed, a security system installed and a new TV waiting for you, upon our return. In my time the man of the family took care of the women, not steal from them.” Eric shakes his head not believing that my brother would go so low as to treat his sister this way.
“Thank you Eric. I would appreciate having my locks changed. But I don’t need a security system and I can buy my own TV with the money from the game.”
“Lover, why can’t you let me take care of you? As your bonded it is my job. You will shame me, not allow me to do so.”
“Huphf….Alright. But don’t take it to far.”
Eric gets an excited look in his eyes. I am afraid to see what I am in for when we get home. I bet he will buy a TV that is as big as my living room wall.
I continue my pacing, trying to come up with a new plan for Jason. I can’t believe, he thinks I would cancel my plans and come running home jus to fix his tux, just so he could “Score” at a wedding! The nerve of him!
“Tray I wish to cancel the plans for Jason’s truck. I have a better idea for him.”
“Ok. I bet this will be good. What’s the new plan?” Tray laughs.
I put my finger to my mouth, deep in thought, like Dr evil.
“Well apparently being family means, you have the right to go over to your family member’s house and take anything you want without asking, if they do not use the item a lot. So I want to return the favor.”
“Ok, what you thinking?”
“Oh this should be good.” Pam snickers.
“Lets see… I want to rent a u-haul truck and remove everything from my brother house. Everything, except his bed, TV, the refrigerator and his person items. Then I want to store them in a rental unit. I will tell him that I bought a vacation house in Shreveport and needed stuff to furnish it. Since we are family and he was not using those items alot and I needed them, I was entitled to take them.”
Eric and Pam snicker. Tray and Alcide look stunned. The other Vampires seem to be pondering my antics.
“Won’t he be mad? I sure he uses some of that stuff.”
“I am sure he will be mad, but I am making a point to him. Reverse phyocolgy and treat others the way you want to be treated. I want him to see what it feels like, to have your own family break into your house and take stuff without asking, when he is out of the house. Just because he thinks I do not use it enough in his option, to keep it. Plus it’s true, he doesn’t really use all that stuff. He uses his bed to sleep in and for the whores he brings home. He uses the frig to store his beer. But the rest he really doesn’t use. I am surprised he doesn’t scream out in horror at the sight of cooking implements, he is so afraid of cooking.”
“Ok, when were you wanting to do this? He works during the day right?”
“Yes. I would like to schedule this for 3 days after we get back. I have to work on Bill’s firework punishment first.”
Alcide and Tray nod.
“I should warn you though, you will need to bring rubber gloves and something to pinch your nose closed.”
“Why?” They all look at me in a perplexed manner.
“Well, Jason lives like a pig. To avoid washing clothes, he buys new ones every week and leaves this old ones rotting all over his house. He leaves pizza boxes, take out rappers, old beer bottles and cans everywhere. He even leaves out half eaten cereal bowls on the counter, until they start to turn into cheese and even then he leaves them there. His bathroom is so dirty, it is a breeding ground for germs, that the center for disease control would be jealous of.”
Alcide and Tray stutter at the thought of the smell. The vampires look thoroughly disgusted.
“Your brother chooses to live in his own filth. Why I am I not surprised.” Eric inquires in disgust.
“Yes, until he gets tired of it, about once or twice a year. Then he runs right off to the store, to purchase cleaning products and leaves them on the kitchen counter. He then talks one of his flings to staying with him for a week. When he is at work, the women get bored and grossed out by his house. They end up cleaning it up and washing all his clothes. They hope by doing this, it will show him, they are wife material. But when it is all cleaned up, he kicks them out.” I roll my eyes.
“And here I thought he was just a pretty face.” Pam laughs out loud.
I roll my eyes at Pam. How she can admire him for playing on women’s heart strings and emotions like that, I will never know. But after all she is Pam, so I most likely will never figure her out.
“So what do you think Tray and Alcide? Will you be able to help me with my plan? Tray I will give you 5 hours of Telepathy for your help on this. Alcide I will give your pack 25 hours, if you can bring 5 weres to help out. I want to get this done quick. Jason sometimes stops at home on his lunch break.”
“Naw, that should not be a problem. I will speak to our pack master tonight.”
“K, thanks. Tray?”
“Girl you are a whole heap of trouble. But I will be there. Just let me know when and where.”
“Thanks so much, you’re the best!” I say getting really excited about getting Jason back for all his bull shit.
Eric just looks at me in a proud manner. I smile at him.