“The evidence presented here tonight makes it clear to me, that you were the one, who was in fact breaking our laws… Compton, you forget that since the great reveal, the AVL changed our laws for the good and protection of all of Vampire kind. Due to the new technology of humans, we can no longer hide in the shadows and legends, we now live in a world filled with technology, where actions such as yours could end up on the evening news, affecting us all.”
Mummers are heard throughout the room.
“These new laws forbid, acquiring humans by tricking or forcing them to take our blood. It also forbids claiming humans, that do not wished to be claimed. Your actions are made even more unacceptable when the human in question can not be glamoured to forget your crimes against her. Then there is the fact that she was accepting of our kind enough to save you from drainers. This action alone displayed an openness towards vampires, that could have led to her working for us, without the need to commit such crimes against her. Or at least she was open to working with vampires, before your questionable actions towards her. ”
“After verifying her skills, you could have simply offered her a contract with the Queen, for the use of her telepathic skill and paid her nicely with benefits. Stipulating in the contract that a blood exchange or tie was required for tracking and protection. Then briefly explained what a ties is and what it entails.”
Shock noises are heard throughout the room about explaining ties to a human.
“The Queen could have ordered all her worthy, loyal Sheriffs and children to court. Then informed them that the she found a telepath and was looking for one vampire to blood tie with a her. The vampires interested in the task, would each take a turn meeting the telepath over the period of a week. Which would give her time to figure out which vampire she felt most comfortable being tied too. Allowing her to choose her vampire would have garnered her respect and trust, rather than hate and distrust. You can not glamour her, you need her loyalty. Instead Compton forced his blood on her, causing her to be tied to someone she despised. All vampires present today in this court should take note of this.”
“Compton, your actions not only endangered vampires, but also endangered the Telepath’s willingness to work for us in the future… Your actions could have made her readings untrustworthy and sent her fleeing from you to our enemies hands at the Fellowship of the Sun. Luckily for you, your Sheriff intervened in time and protected her not only from your advances, but secured her skills for his Queen. Your actions and failure to adhere to our laws are a danger to us all.”
“Guards arrest him.” Bill looks sullen. The guards come over and chain Bill’s arms behind his back. Bill only fights back a little, before he realizes there is no point, he’s not escaping. One guard stands on each side of him with gloves holding him in place.
“It is this courts ruling, that the human Telepath Sookie Stackhouse belongs to Sheriff Northman and Bill has no rights to her… Now for Bills punishment for wasting this courts time, implicating the Queen for his actions, going against his Sheriff and show great disrespect to all involved, as well as not abiding by the new rules set forth by the AVL…..”
“Hm. I believe that since it was Ms Stackhouse who was wronged, she should pick out his punishment. I think this would be a most fitting and entertaining. Don’t you agree Sophie Ann?”
“Yes, indeed. I believe Bill is owed quite a bit of punishment and Ms Stackhouse should be the one to decide it.” The Queen has an evil sneer on her face. I am sure she is pissed that Bill failed in his mission, to bring me to her. But she does not want to implicate herself, by saying so, in front of the Magister.
“I order for Ms Stackhouse to decide your punishment.”
“Ms Stackhouse. How would you like Bill to be punished my dear?”
“Well I don’t believe in physical punishment. The way I see it he has done many things wrong to me, so I have a few different punishments in mind. If that is ok?”
The Magister and Queen nods.
“Since he took away my Virginity, under false pretences and I can never get it back, I think I should take something from him he will never be able to replace.”
The Queen nods at me.
“Your Majesty do you have any grenade launchers available?”
“Grenade launchers?… No?.. What would you need that for? I thought you were against physical punishments?”
“Yes, I am against physical punishment to all sentient beings, no matter their species, race, creed, tax bracket or education level.”
“Then why do you need a Grenade launcher for?”
“I need it to set off the fire works… I wonder if I could buy one on Ebay?” I think out loud. The Queen and Magister look perplexed.
“Fire works? Explain.” The Queen orders.
“Blowing up the house he built with his own two hands and lived in with his human family would be a good start to his punishment. It is something that could never truly be replaced. So It would be quite fitting. Why not use fireworks? It would make it much more entertaining, then just watching it burn down to the ground. Besides then we can make an event out of it.” Bill looks horrified and Eric looks smug. I guess he likes my idea. The Queen and Magister look impressed.
“The supplies I would need is 15,000 dollars worth of fire works that shoot up in the air, a Grenade launcher to set it off or maybe an elephant gun with incendiary rounds. Does any one have one of those I can borrow? I will give it right back?” I look around every one is just staring at me, in surprise.
“I would also need a stereo with speakers, to play appropriate music and 8 high-definition video cameras. I want to take video of it from different points of view, in slow motion and ask Pam to post it to Vamp Utube for me.”
Pam nods at me to let me know she would love to post it for me.
“Without a house on his property he would be less likely to stay there. Though this is only one of his punishments, I have more in store for him.” All the vampires are dead quite, waiting for the Queens response.
“You surprise me for a breather.”
“If I may your Majesty?” She nods her approval for Eric to speak.
“I have an elephant gun you could borrow Lover. Grenade launchers are illegal in LA. Except for military use, so they are harder to come by. I have not acquired any incendiary rounds or fire works, since Vampires do not care for fire. I can have my day man acquire those items for you.”
“Thanks Eric!” I hug him.
“Ooops. Sorry.” I blush.
“Feel free to rub your body up against me anytime you like Lover.” He raises that famous eye brow at me.
“You are such a man!” I laugh, gently slapping at his arm. Bill is fuming at our exchange.
“If I may your Majesty.” She nods to Harold.
“I have video and stereo equipment you could use. We can add the video to the game as well.”
“Thanks Harold. You’re the best!”
“Hooker you is something else!”
I giggle. Bill is now out of his shock and is able to speak again.
“But Sookah! I built that house! You can not take it away from me!” He whines.
“Man up and grow a pair Bill! No one wants to hear you whine! I will allow you to remove a few mementoes before the event. I am not totally heartless, unlike you. Besides I am not done with you yet. You still have many sins to pay for and karma is a bitch. I just so happen to be that bitch!”
“What is it I hear about a game, that the breather wants to add the video to.”
“Oh silly me! I almost forgot!”
“Harold lets do the presentation and then I will proceed with the rest of Bills punishment.”
Harold nods and gets out his lap top and plugs it in to the TV again. He then hooks up two external speakers to up the sound quality. Then motions to me he is ready.
“After being harassed by Bill for the past few months, I was very angry. So one day I was speaking with Harold and the idea for the video game “Ex boyfriend Annihilator – Bill Compton addition” and the game was born. Harold.” Harold starts the video and asks someone to get the lights.
The video starts. It was the video Pam shot the other night, when we put on the presentation at Fangtasia for the new game. Uncut.
The Vampires in the room look on with interest at the video. Bill is fuming. The Queen and Magister looks impressed.
Once the video completes. I address the Queen again.
“You can not allow this your Majesty! This is a travesty! She used my voice, name and image in that game.” Bill whines.
“Your Majesty, as I stated on the video, I am planning to pay you tribute for the game, since a vampire’s likeness from your revenue is in the game. Here is your first check, if I may approach.” The Queen looks giddy. I hand her the check and she smiles at it.
“Bill there will be no further talk about the game. It is already quite profitable. You will not interfere with this game in any way. Do. I. Make. Myself. clear!” She looks down at Bill with a look that says she means business.
“How long has the game been for sale? This is looking promising from the amount of this check.”
“We have only been selling the game for two days and it has been well received so far.”
“Harold could you hand out a free copy to the Queens, Kings and Magister?”
“Don’t forget about the accessories.” Harold whispers to me, before he hands out the game.
“We also have come out with some new accessories to the game. We have a body double of Bill or a manikin, made out of ballistics gel. It is embedded with micro chips that can sense the damage you do to it and can be plugged into the game, to score points. This is for those who prefer a more hands on approach to torture. On the back of the manikin there is a place that you can pour 4 bottles of true blood into. It has micro tubing running through out the body to simulate blood vessels, enabling it to bleed. The bones are made out of crushed cow bone, with a thin steel rod inlay to more accurately simulate the cracking of breaking bones. It also has a working mouth and a speech box, so that it can yell and whine, in Bills annoying voice.”
Harold has wheeled out the manikin on a table and propped it up for all to see.
“For only $6,000 per manikin, you can have your very own Bill Compton to torture. It takes 1 month for delivery to you, since each manikin takes so long to create.”
“Why is it so hairy and its dick so small?” Pam says looking at it in disgust.
“This manikin is anatomically correct version of Bill. Bill is just that hairy and small. Harold flip it over.”
“His ass is actually that hairy. Isn’t it gross. He looks like freak’n Alf.” (From the 80 TV show. He is a hairy, rude alien from outer space)
“Alf. I have not heard of him.”
“Pam google him. You will see what I am talking about. They even have the same hair.”
Pam takes a few minutes playing with her phone looking up Alf. Suddenly she busts up laughing. I notice a few of the Vamps in the room did the same with their phones and join in with Pam.
“My ass is not that hairy. That is an inaccurate copy of me. I demand you fix it!”
“Seriously Bill? Your ass is so hairy you could single handily cure male pattern baldness, for every man on the Eastern sea board, with a hair donation from you ass alone. Not to mention you are so hairy that you should be in that video for ” I’m bringing hairy back” (a video making fun of the song by Justin Timberlake, I bringing sexy back.)
I see the vamps looking up the video.
Everyone starts laughing.
“Hooker, you is off the chain!” Laf is getting teary eyed.
“Now for the more budget minded individual, we have Bill Compton Blow up Dolls. You can not fill them with True blood and the sensors in them are not as sensitive as the other model, but for the bargain price of $800, you can tear Bill to shreds again and again.”
“We also have Bill stress balls. They are Gel filled balls that look like Bills head. You can squeeze the balls to help you relieve stress. Plus squeezing the balls contorts his face in amusing ways, sold today only for the price of $5.00. Harold please pass some of these around for everyone to look at.”
“Let everyone who drives past you know that, you Annihilated Bill with a “I Annihilated Bill” bumper sticker. At the great price of $3 you can even pick up a few for your friends.”
“And for the first time ever we are introducing the Bill Compton Bobble head doll. Place on the dash of your car while driving and see Bills head bop around. For today only, you get one free with purchase of the game. Thank you for your time.”
All the vamps rush the stage, followed by some humans, trying to get their own copy of the game and accessories. Harold is quite busy for while filling and taking orders. Laf helps him out.
“Don’t forget about the plaques Sookie.” Harold reminds me, once things have calmed down a bit.
“Oh darn. I forgot I have two more gifts for you Bill.”
Bill looks afraid of what they will be.
Harold comes forward handing me two plaques.
“This is a duplicate plaque of our break up list, just like the last one I gave you, that you destroyed. And this plaque is a copy of the list but in Binary code.( Binary code is computer code, which is written using only 1’s and 0’s) Since you seem to be able to communicate with computers better than you are able to communicate with other people, I thought you might have an easier time understanding it.” I hand both plaques to Bill’s laughing guards.
Now on ward with Bills other punishments.
Check out the Bill Get Told page for links to:
Photo of Alf
Video: I am bringing hairy back
Video: of Tuvan throat singing